Descending Ashtray

Am I tredding water? I feel as if I am doing all of this work and not getting any where.
What am I protecting? I feel as if I have to maintain some image, some idea that other people have of me.
Why is it so hard to let this guard down?
Is the fear of being vulnerable worth conceiling?
What do all of these images being produced in the world really mean?
What are these ideas of art?
Is my own personal concept of art limiting me?
What are your ideas of art?
I think I liked what you were doing in college, by having people vote and having them be involved in the decisions that you made. I liked how the 5×5 became a logo, a reflection of the mass media’s way of influencing people. It became powerful. It could have taken over the world, like Coca-Cola or Nike.

My brother Zeb just came back from Korea on Thursday. He had served six years in the army. After spending a year in Iraq and a year in South Korea he was reluctantly dismissed and sent home when his contract ended.

When he returned home and we participated in twelve hours of drinking, billiards and darts. It was a good time. But I feel the pull of something. Something that often seems out of my control or willingness to be apart of the habits of society. I have felt depressed and unmotivated with my work. Often struggling with what to do next. I have been thinking about what it is that drives me and I think it has alot to do with having goals. Even though the art shows I have had in the past have been my own productions, they have driven me to go beyond what I thought was possible. I feel the need to communicate my ideas with the rest of the world even if it is on a small scale.

There is much do be said and much struggle ahead. The only thing that can slow me down is becoming to comfortable with my own life. I feel the need to challenge myself and have another show. My friend Rick and I have talked this evening about putting together a show of our work sometime in May. He does amazing paintings of trees and foliage which would compliment my landscape drawings very well. To me it is about absorbing the natural beauty in the world while mastering the techincal skills of observation in drawing.

Here are a coulpe albums that I have recently aquired:

Low - I could only live in hope
This is actually Low’s first album that came out in the early nineties. I had never listened to the whole thing before. It is good, I especially like the first song “Words”. Even though the delay on the vocals makes it sound a little dated it is powerful in its own depressing way.

Sun Kil Moon (Red House Painters) - Tiny Cities
Who would of ever thought that the Red House Painters would do a cover album of Modest Mouse songs? Well here it is. But of course they don’t sound anything like the originals. Mark Kozelek seems to be able to transform any song into his own dreamy melody. If you are Modest Mouse fan aproach this album with an open mind.

This is the most recent project that I have been working on. The Court Ave. Brewery wanted eighteen gavels for their beer tappers.

This is the proto type that I made.

Nine of the gavel heads being turned on the lathe.

Lathe Knives and gavel handles.

The lathe set up.

This is a collaborative drawing that Scott, Josh, Brandy, Megan, Haley and I all worked on at the dinner party.